Straight from Conan O'Brien and the Late Night staff, a collection of startling and thought-provoking predictions for... oh, a couple of months from now.
What will happen in the year 2000? Well, according to Conan O'Brien and the other comic geniuses from NBC's Late Night, robots will do 80% of our houseworkÉand we will do 90% of theirs. All medical procedures will take 30 minutes or less, as doctors switch to the Domino's Pizza Health Plan. And scientists will discover the secret ingredient in Starbucks coffee: a chemical that makes people forget they are paying $4 for a cup of coffee.
Straight from Late Night with Conan O'Brien comes a saucy serving of outrageous--yet spookily plausible--predictions, and the last word on how the world may look on the other side of the millennial divide.
Conan O'Brien became the host of Late Night in 1993. In the year 2000 he will have to come up with a new sketch.
In The Year 2000...
* Man will sometimes write 1999 on his checks
* Scientists will revive Einstein's brain and keep it alive in a jar; it will become a dee jay
* America's belief in angels will be rewarded when thousands are discovered in a secluded valley; they will taste like veal
* Men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs...is to make out
* The radio signals scientists have been sending into outer space will finally get a reply. Their simple message: Less talk, more rock
* Mark McGuire will become the richest man on earth when he finally learns to tie a string to every ball he hits
* Elizabeth Dole will be elected President, making Bob Dole America's first man--something already verified by fossil records
* Packaged Toll House cookies will become so moist and chewy that people will no longer fear death
* A daring and controversial plan to capture Bigfoot will fail when he sends a friend to accept his Oscar for him
* Jesus Christ returns to earth but quickly leaves when he discovers the 55 cent Egg McMuffin deal has expired
* The hottest comedy show on TV.-- Rolling Stone
* Currently in its sixth season, the Emmy-nominated show is at an all-time ratings high.
* People magazine called O'Brien one of TV's hottest properties.
* The Washington Post called Conan O'Brien modest, wry, self-effacing, and demonstrably the most intelligent of the late night comics.
* A very funny concept with a built-in hype factor as the year 2000 approaches
* Conan's unique brand of comedy earned him a place on Entertainment Weekly 's list of the 50 Funniest People Alive
* Includes new and unexpurgated material never seen on TV
* Includes line drawings by an artist from Late Night

O'Brien, Conan

New York: Riverhead Books

Longman Publishing

United States, United States of America

1st, First Edition, PS, 1999

1st ed, New York, c1999

The irreverent Late Night host and his writing team serve up a delectable preview of the fabled year 2000, predicting that Einstein's brain will be revived, Elizabeth Dole will be elected president, and aliens will finally contact Earth. Original.

Predictions for the future including speculation about Einstein's brain, transportation, housework, and Mike Tyson

ix, 113 p. : 19 cm

2024-11-05